Heartbroken

I regret opening my heart one more time to someone who consistently showed me that I was not important to them.

I regret staying with this man after he cheated. Because I truly was trying to give him a chance.

I regret all the help I provided. I regret allowing myself to be in a position to feel this pain. And this time it hurts so much more because I truly trusted, respected and loved this man.

Life continues to give me these hard lessons that involves my heart being broken into tiny pieces. Maybe one day it will end. Maybe one day soon.

All I wanted was someone to truly love me. And not just tell me like everyone in my life but actually show me. Spend time with me outside of the mundane mindless TV watching. Get to know me through deep conversation/dialogue. To talk to me as if I’m a friend and not a child. Not to try to control or change me. To respect me as a woman, a Mother, someone who has been hurt by so many and is just looking for genuine love. Accepting that life has shaped me the way I am and respect it even if it’s not understood and to love me unconditionally to break down the walls that people keep showing me are necessary to have up to keep from being hurt. Someone to listen and not judge.

I never thought he’d say some of the things he’s said to me. I never thought I’d have to end things on such a bad note. But people are consistently comfortable with hurting me. And I’m over it.

Author: ~California Dreamer~

Just an average silly, nerdy chick. That's weird in probably a million different ways, sharing my sometimes fucked up life with you. Showing others that they should enjoy life, because there's always someone in a worse situation. View all posts by ~California Dreamer~