Be Your Own Valentine

Many people probably are not aware that grief is the form that love takes when you mourn the loss of someone close to you. Associating the day with someone significant can spark powerful emotions.

Valentine’s Day in itself emphasizes love, romance and togetherness. When reminded that you no longer have that special person in your life, this day could feel like utter shit. It’s hard to escape the displays in stores, the signs in windows or along the road or even ads on the Internet.

As a person who has lost their Father, Mother, Grandfathers, Grandmother, children and many other special people, I feel as though the day is praised and emphasized entirely too much and for what. Especially for those of us who are mourning the loss of love from those who were once close.

If you’re struggling today, I invite you to try some of these tips below. Remember it’s ok to not be ok. And don’t let anyone tell you anything differently. You have a friend in grief here, so if you need support send me a message. I will be happy to chat and be a pillar of support during your hard times. No pressure.


There are NO Rules

Often times people feel pressured to act a certain way as it pertains to mourning. Give yourself grace on today. Grieve in anyway that suits you and don’t worry about what others may think. Despite societal pressures and norms, there is truly no right or wrong way to mourn the loss of someone. (And this is to include pets for my animal lovers…to me they are just as human as people)

Burn Some Lead

Journaling is one of my favorite things to do to relieve stress and to start my day on a positive note. Nothing makes me feel better and focused than using a No.2 all wood to get the thoughts out of my head and onto paper. This freeing process is exceptional at helping you to process and organize your thoughts. Now I know everyone is not into physical writing (pen/pencil to paper) but fret now, it is also productive if you feel compelled to type. Don’t go back and read what you write, and keep these journaled thoughts somewhere that only you can get to. This is not only therapuetic but also can aide you in your grief response.

Honor Your Love

Channel your thoughts and feelings in a positive light during the day. There are many ways to honor your loved one that doesn’t require spending a coin. You could donate blood, volunteer your time at a nursing home or local homeless shelter. Focus your attention on a way to honor your dearly departed loved one. This may turn into your new annual tradition.

Be Your Own Valentine

The heavy process of grief can be physically debilitating for some. As a bereaved person, you may suffer from insomnia, poor eating and lack of physical activity. While others feel the need to love on someone else, today practice some self-love. Pay attention to yourself. Do something that will make you feel better or even smile today.

Blood, Sweat & Tears

He was smart. He was outspoken and he did not give up. Dr. Charles Drew was a highly intelligent man. It was him who stood against the US Army when they segregated the blood of both black and white donors. It was also him that came up with the collection and processing of blood plasma which ultimately saved the lives of many in the war.

Dr. Drew could have easily been accepting of the policy and returned to his research or the next great advancement in his research, but he took a stance for what was right. This man did awesome work and made great contributions to the world of healthcare and science.

Perform well and segregation will disappear.

Dr. Charles R. Drew

Steamy Short: Welcome Home

The sun peeks through the curtains that are cracked exposing the ocean waves meeting the sand. She awakes before the alarm on her phone and immediately smiles. “Today is the day,” she thinks to herself as she grabs the big comfy comforter and wraps it tight around her bare body. The smile she has is an accessory for the day…it is not going anywhere.

She turns over to stare at the ocean and the sun reflecting off the water and unknowingly slowly drifts back to sleep. She dreams of being held, hugged and kissed by him. Unaware that she’s really fallen asleep, she’s awakened again. This time by her phone ringing. As soon as she sees the number, she answered and then swipes the screen to see the time. He knows her too well, his greeting is “Getcho ass up!” They both laugh and then he proceeds with his normal morning greeting. He gives her the time to pick him up and the details before hanging up.

Frantic because she’s late to everything and everywhere, she’s running in circles trying to get her essentials to meet the love of her life. It’s been way too long. Even though they just spoke, seeing him will be like seeing him for the first time all over again. Her heart is already racing, palms and armpits sweaty, and she’s unable to focus. Flustered is what she is and overwhelmed with excitement. Her birthday is in 6 days and this is by far the best present she could have asked for. Being reunited with the man she loves and a whole week of love and hitting the reset button on life.

Showering, singing and dancing in the mirror, she finishes the touch by oiling up her body from head to toe. She can’t believe she’s really going to do this, but she ties up the cute red lingerie top and dons her trench coat. Walking in circles she finds her shoes and pauses, pondering which pair to wear. Fur boots or pumps? She laughs a little and slides her foot inside her fur boots. It’s cold and she’s barring little to nothing under the coat, these will at least keep her warm when she exits the car.

She’s replayed this day in her mind a million times. Different scenarios, different outfits, different greetings. But today is the real deal. She looks for her keys walking past the fob on the counter. Forgetting she’s not driving her daily car, she shakes her head and backs up to grab the fob, her purse and the key card before walking out of the door.

On the inside she’s skipping down the hall to the elevator, in reality she’s speed walking because she spent too much time pretending to put on a performance in the mirror. She enters the elevator completely forgetting that she has nothing really under the coat until the wind hits her legs when the elevator doors open on the main floor. It’s cold and she has to walk to the parking garage to get in the car. The crazy things she do, she thought as she enters the garage scanning the rows for the car.

She locates the car, enters and immediately starts it up turning on the seat warmer and heat. It’s frosty chilly outside as he’d say. Placing her phone in the holder on the dashboard with the navigation already directing her path, she pulls out of the parking space ready to jump into the arms of the man who loves her.

Following his instructions, she pulls into the parking lot, checks the time and waits for him to appear. The moment she sees him walking down the sidewalk, time stands still and everything starts to move in slow motion. He’s walking with that swagalicious diddiebop that she told him about, scanning the parking lot, probably looking for her daily car. She exits with the biggest smile. He stops dead in his tracks and yells, “Whatcha say Baby Love?” Still walking towards him, she echos his question. This is their thing. Weird and quirky in how they express their love, unapologetically and unbothered by what anyone around may think.

She reaches him and he grabs her and pulls her close, hugging her tight. She buries her head into his chest. She’s missed this. She’s missed him. She immediately feels whole again. He takes a small step back and holds her face in his hands and says “I love you”. She replies, “I love you too” and then he leans down and kisses her slow, deep and passionately.

It could get nasty right outside at this point but she’s cold so she takes his hand and tells him to come on. Guiding him to the car she tells him that he can drive and he always knows where to go. They enter the car and their gazes meet. It’s like a magnet pushing them together. She leans across the center console and begins to kiss him, biting his bottom lip. “Let’s go before it goes down in this parking lot,” she says. He pays her no mind and from the look and feel of the front of his pants, he doesn’t care where it goes down at this moment.

He takes his hands and slides it under the bottom of her coat. When he feels her bare skin, he releases a small moan inside her mouth. Reaching her pyramid of love, he can already tell she missed him and she’s ready to be reacquainted. Moist between his fingers, he slowly rubs her epicenter. She opens her legs a little more to give him more access and continues kissing him passionately. He slides one finger inside her and she melts. She whispers to him, “Don’t start nothing.” He shakes his head and they release each other. He looks her in the eyes and says, “You are something else.” She replies, “You haven’t seen anything yet!” She opens her coat revealing her close to nothing attire. He smiles in admiration and responds, “Let me get out of here so I can do some things to you.”

He exits the parking lot and merges onto the highway. While discussing what to eat, she unbuckles her seatbelt and leans over to unbutton his pants. Reaching inside, she strokes his manhood slowly up and down a couple of times before revealing his perfectly sculptured penis to the surface. He continues to talk but for only a minute before she slowly licks the tip of his head before making his whole body shiver as she engulfed his entire penis in her mouth. She adjusts her position to give him the vacuum seal double hand twist super gawk gawk combo 5000 As she tosses her hair to the side, out of her way, she looks up at him and says, “Welcome home Babe…”

Reach For The Stars…She Became One

Dr. Mae Jemison has without a doubt has inspired many young African American children ideas and dreams of exploring space. Hopefully through STEM learning more people of color are afforded the opportunity to travel to space, motivating more and more of our youth to assist with advancements in technology, science and math. Afterall, they are our future!