I’m generally very optimistic. But today I just question so much. I feel hopeless, helpless and lonely.
Like why are we here? What is our purpose? Because I swear I think I’m a Heartbreak Test Dummy. Life takes every heartbreaking situation and places it in my life. And no matter what options I choose in the situation, the end result is always some form of heartbreak.
I am tired and it’s official…I hate it here. If at any moment “the folks” want to repopulate another planet, I am voluntarily signing up. Anywhere has to be better than here.
This shit is going to take a while. I feel me retreating to my bubble. Not leaving home. Staying away from people. Wasn’t I just here in April??? Damn.
So life…there’s only 5 more months left in the year, so what other ways are you planning to break me down? First my Mom, then my Baby and now this…I am not this strong person that people keep saying I am. I fragile as fuck. I am on the brink of losing my last little bit of sanity. I try so hard to hold it together for my kids. Because I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks.
Today was close to March 26th, 2021. And it doesn’t surprise me that it happened mere days before the 4 month anniversary of my Mom’s passing.
If I could live in bed. I swear to Gawd I would…for two and a half years.
Rip Van Winkle me somebody…anybody… Hell where is the damn apple that Snow White ate that put her ass to sleep for a while? Let me order 2 of those…I need to sleep sleep.
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