I know I’ve been pretty nonexistent these last few months and there’s been so much going on that I couldn’t get my head into writing. I now realize how much of an outlet it is for me.

From losing my job, feeling completely out of control and uncertain about what’s next, to the job offers that are so bottom of the barrel that I’d be better off not working bc the salary doesn’t even cover childcare, to the legal bullshit I had to endure with my previous employer and now the life changing accident that shook me to my core and shed light in my dark corner.

I’ve never taken my parents for granted. I sadly watched my father slip away from me and there was no way I could even think of losing my mom. I spiraled completely out of control. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, all I could do was worry and cry. I have a crazy way of dealing with the thought of death. But I have always avoided any scenario about my mom. This woman has been through so much. She was my first best friend. She taught me everything I know.

Right now I’m just praying…praying that things change. Praying that July 23rd never happens again and that one day soon I get my mom back just the way she was. They say give your loved ones their flowers when they can smell them. In my heart I think I’ve done nothing short of that for my mom.

Author: ~California Dreamer~

Just an average silly, nerdy chick. That's weird in probably a million different ways, sharing my sometimes fucked up life with you. Showing others that they should enjoy life, because there's always someone in a worse situation.

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