The Countdown

It’s March!!! I’ve been a little absent working on a huge project that I am hoping will change the trajectory of my “career”. As a devout Healthcare IT Professional, I am feeling uninterested, disengaged and unfocused on my 10+ year career choice. While I love my job, my employer and what I do, I no longer find it fulfilling. I know there is something else that I am suppose to be doing that has a much greater purpose.

In an effort to tap into this intuitive feeling of changing directions in my life professionally, I created my own business (again). Except this time, it is a solo venture. I use to love the idea of going into business with a close friend. You know, I eat, they eat, we are all happy and thriving. Nope. People are selfish and self-centered and often times not loyal, honest or trustworthy.

As creative as I am, I find myself doubting my abilities a lot. I suppress my own talents by being afraid not only of failure but also of success and the unknown. Well one day I jumped completely off the ledge into the abyss of owning a business all of my own. I have ideas on pages in journals and in notes on my iPad and phone of things that I want to do. Some I’ve already put into place, others, I’m not sure where to begin. I wrote a book. Completed a few eBooks, working on a Mindful Art course and a grief support group as I felt isolated, unheard, and uncared for by those close to me as I continue to drag myself through this ghetto ass process of grieving. Grief definitely changes you as a person and while losing my Mother created a huge shift in my life, it has not been all negative. If she’s watching, reading, or hovering near I hope she knows I am going to continue to make her proud. I’m not sure what else to do at this point anyways.

The sad part about March is the one year anniversary of my Mom’s transition. This brings about a lot of emotions. I feel like a fortune teller. As if this is all unreal and I am simply predicting a future event, hence reliving the day all over again.

On top of a few exciting business endeavors, March also brings warm weather which allows me to get back to running. (YAY!!!) Never thought I’d be happy to run recreationally after getting out of the Army lol. But the most exciting part of March is that my Baby Love comes home!!! A short hiatus is imminent while we reconnect and reset but stay tuned for all the great things to come. I’m sure there may be a few days where I the urge to blog will strike but I want to spend time uninterrupted with my Love. It’s been way too long.

Author: ~California Dreamer~

Just an average silly, nerdy chick. That's weird in probably a million different ways, sharing my sometimes fucked up life with you. Showing others that they should enjoy life, because there's always someone in a worse situation.

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