Tag: #coping

Squad Goals: My Besties Showed Up for My Daughter’s Birthday Dinner (and It Meant the World)

Birthdays are a big deal in our house if you haven’t noticed already, especially for my little ones. My daughter wanted a fun dinner with her favorite people: her family and, of course, her “aunties” (and “uncle”), and cousins – my amazing best friends and their children.


Life can get hectic, and with busy schedules, I wasn’t sure if everyone would be able to make it so last minute. But as luck would have it, my friends rearranged their evenings, juggled pet sitting duties, and braved rush hour traffic to be here.


The moment they walked in, the smiles on my daughter’s face lit up the room. It was pure joy. We feasted on chicken, rice, green beans, mashed potatoes, rolls, salad, cake and ice cream, laughed until our sides hurt, and reminisced about old times. But beyond the birthday fun, what truly touched me was their presence. It’s a beautiful thing to have friends who show up for you, not just for the big milestones, but for the everyday moments too.


Seeing my daughter surrounded by these incredible people who love and support her – that’s the kind of birthday memory that will stay with her forever. And for that, I’m eternally grateful. 🫶🏾

Happy 14th Birthday Sunshine!

I can’t believe you’re already a teenager! It feels like just yesterday you were a little girl, and now you’re blossoming into a young woman.


I’m so proud of the kind, compassionate, and intelligent person you’re becoming. You have a bright light that shines wherever you go, and I can’t wait to see what incredible things you accomplish.


To celebrate this special day, we’re off on an adventure to Busch Gardens and Water Country USA! I can’t wait to see the joy on your face as we ride the roller coasters, splash around in the water park, and make more unforgettable memories together.


Have a fantastic birthday, my love! I hope it’s filled with laughter, thrills, and everything that makes you happy.


Love always,
Mum

Finding My Calm: Choosing Peace

People mean well. “Therapy?” they ask. “Maybe some medication to sleep?” I appreciate the concern, but this time feels different. This time, I crave a different kind of healing.


Instead of reaching for a sleeping aide, I’m focusing on regaining inner peace. It’s not a walk in the park. Some nights, the silence screams memories, and anger threatens to erupt. But slowly, I’m incorporating practices that bring a sense of calm.


Meditation offers a 20-minute sanctuary each morning. I focus on my breath, not erasing the pain, but acknowledging it and letting it go. Time spent outdoors is my grounding force. The fresh air, sunshine, and rhythm of my steps against the vastness of the sky put things in perspective. Journaling has become a release. On paper, I pour my heart out – the good, the bad, the ugly. It allows me to process emotions and start making sense of it all. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Spending time with my children and friends, reminiscing and creating new memories, reminds me of the love and support that surrounds me.


It’s a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. But by choosing peace over a prescription, I’m taking control of my healing. I’m allowing myself to feel the emotions, but I’m also actively choosing practices that nurture my well-being.


So, if you’re going through a tough time and considering medication, I urge you to explore all your options. There’s a power in finding peace within yourself, a strength that comes from embracing the journey, not numbing the pain.

Birthday Getaway to the DMV: Healing Hearts and Having Fun!

Buckle up for a whirlwind adventure! Today, we’re trading tissues for birthday cheer as my soon-to-be-14-year-old daughter, my son and I embark on a DMV getaway to celebrate her special day.  Yes, it comes on the heels of a not-so-happy breakup, but sometimes, a change of scenery and quality time with your favorite people is the best medicine.


We’ve got a fun weekend planned, filled with exploring the amazing museums in DC (future scientists and artists unite!), conquering the cherry blossom trees (hopefully they’re still blooming!), and maybe even a boat ride on the Potomac.


Of course, a birthday trip wouldn’t be complete without some fun surprises.  We’re keeping some things under wraps, but let’s just say there might be a delicious cake from a local bakery, a movie marathon in our PJs (essential for any teen, I’m told!), and maybe even a spa night complete with questionable face mask choices and uncontrollable laughter.


This trip isn’t just about celebrating my daughter’s birthday, though that’s definitely a priority.  It’s also about creating new memories, sharing some laughs (and maybe a few tears – happy ones, this time!), and reminding each other that we’re a team.


Sure, a breakup can throw a wrench into things, but it doesn’t have to cancel the fun.  We’re approaching this trip with open hearts and a sense of adventure.  Who knows, maybe amidst the museums and monuments, we’ll both discover a little bit of healing and a whole lot of joy.


Here’s to strong moms, adventurous children, and the magic of birthday celebrations that mend hearts and create lasting memories.  Stay tuned for updates from our DMV adventure!

Taking A Step Back

Let’s talk about no contact after a breakup. It feels weird, right? Like slamming a door shut on a maybe, a what-if. But here’s the thing I’m starting to realize: sometimes, that’s exactly what you need to heal.


This breakup is fresh, and the temptation to text or to call is constant. It’s like a scab I keep picking at, keeping the wound raw. No contact is about stopping that cycle, giving myself space to breathe.


It’s not about punishment or forgetting them entirely. It’s about creating space to grow, to rediscover myself. Who am I, outside of that relationship? What makes me happy on my own?


Maybe with this time apart, I’ll see things clearer. Maybe the rose-colored glasses will fade, and I can see the relationship for what it truly was.  No contact might even help me appreciate the good while acknowledging why it didn’t work out.


Honestly, no contact is scary. But staying stuck in a loop of emotions is scarier.  I deserve the space to heal, to move forward.  And who knows, maybe down the line, things will be different. But for now, the focus is on me. On healing, on emerging stronger.

Healing Doesn’t Have to Be Pretty


It’s been a rough week, and honestly, I haven’t felt like my usual chipper self.  Let’s just say the “wash my face, cry in the shower, eat ice cream” phase has been hitting hard.


But here’s the thing I’m realizing: it’s okay.  Social media might paint this picture of perfect post-breakup healing, but let me tell you, it’s messy AF!  There are days when sadness hangs heavy, and anger comes out in unexpected ways (RIP planter).


I’m allowing myself to feel the feels.  Sometimes it’s a sob fest, other times it’s letting out all the emotions into a journal.  Bottling it up only makes the pressure build, and I’m all about releasing that pressure in healthy ways (maybe minus the planter-related collateral damage).


This doesn’t mean I’m staying stuck.  Healing takes time, and right now, I’m giving myself the space to grieve the end of this chapter.  It was a huge part of my life, and acknowledging that loss is important. While some days are tearjerkers, I’m also leaning on my amazing friends, indulging in comfort food (hello, cheese Naan), and rediscovering things that make me happy (painting and drawing).


Remember, healing isn’t linear.  There will be ups and downs, and that’s perfectly okay.  We all move at our own pace, and right now, mine involves a healthy dose of self-compassion and maybe a box of Kleenex.

Long Story Short: Love Shouldn’t Be A Threat

Tears streamed down my face, blurring the already distorted image of my reflection. “Why is it so hard for someone to just love me?” I choked out, the question echoing in the empty room.


It wasn’t always this way. My childhood was a constant ache, a void left by a father who was never consistently present. My mom, bless her heart, tried everything, but that emptiness gnawed at me. I yearned for a love that never came, a yearning that festered into a pattern of terrible relationships. Men who saw me as an object, not a person. Cheating, lying, a parade of disrespect that chipped away at my already fragile sense of worth.


Then came David. We connected, and for a while, it felt different. I, naive and hopeful, shared the deepest crevice of my heart – my fear of being alone, unwanted. But David, like the others, failed me. Slowly, subtly, he withdrew. Communicating less and fussing more.


Was this my fate? To be perpetually alone, tossed aside like a forgotten toy? The answer, a therapist once told me, resided within myself. Years of emotional neglect had warped my perception of love, making me vulnerable to those who mirrored my father’s absence.


I realized, love wasn’t something to be found, but to be built. Built on a foundation of self-respect, nurtured by kindness and compassion – for myself, first and foremost.


Taking a deep breath, I wiped away my tears. The rain continued its relentless assault, but a tiny spark flickered within me – the embers of hope. I wouldn’t wait for someone to love me. I would go back to loving myself.