Tag: #healing

Black Love, Boundaries, and Hope

This evening, I’m curled up on the couch with my blanket, soaking in episode after episode of Black Love, and let me tell you—it’s hitting me right in the soul. There’s something magical about watching couples share their stories with such rawness and vulnerability. The women on the show keep saying something that resonates deeply with me: They didn’t have to change themselves to be in the healthy relationships they’re in.

That message is like a breath of fresh air. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out where love and boundaries intersect, and hearing these women affirm that they were fully embraced for who they are gives me hope. It reminds me why I’ve chosen to walk away from relationships where my boundaries were crossed. Leaving wasn’t easy, but watching these couples proves that honoring my needs is the right path to finding the love I deserve.

And then there are the men—whew, the way they talk about their journeys to love is nothing short of beautiful. They share the exact moments they knew they loved these women, how they set aside their egos, and how they learned to nurture their relationships. It’s inspiring to see men actively choosing to grow for the sake of love. It’s a kind of love story that doesn’t ask for perfection, just honesty and effort.

But can we talk about the way these couples look at each other? It’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist when their eyes lock. That kind of love—the kind that holds you, sees you, and celebrates you—is what I hope to find. Watching them gives me this quiet reassurance that my person is out there somewhere, too. I may not know when or where I’ll meet him, but it’s comforting to believe that when the time is right, our paths will cross.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Black Love and my own experiences, it’s that love rooted in authenticity is worth the wait. It’s not about settling or molding myself to fit someone’s expectations. It’s about staying true to who I am, setting boundaries, and trusting that the right person will embrace all of it—the good, the messy, and the beautiful.

So here I am, hopeful, read for not just any love, but the kind that feels like home. Until then, I’ll keep growing, keep thriving, and keep holding onto the belief that my story is still being written. Because if Black Love has taught me anything, it’s that the best love stories don’t require us to compromise who we are—they simply ask us to show up, wholeheartedly. 🫶🏾

Embrace the Radiance of Sunflower Season


As the sun unveils its warm embrace upon the earth, a vibrant spectacle unfolds, filling our hearts with joy and optimism. Yes, it’s that time of the year again – sunflower season! And if you didn’t know, it’s my absolute favorite flower ever!


Sunflowers have long been associated with positive energy and optimism. Their vibrant colors and cheerful presence have the remarkable ability to brighten even the dullest of days. Just a glimpse of these radiant flowers can instantly uplift your mood, reminding us to focus on the beauty that surrounds us. Sunflowers teach us to look towards the light, to find strength in the face of adversity, and to radiate positivity in every aspect of our lives.


In addition to their visual appeal, sunflowers also carry a deeper metaphorical meaning. Their journey from seed to full bloom is a testament to the power of growth and transformation. From a tiny seed buried beneath the earth, sunflowers emerge, stretching towards the sky with unwavering determination. This remarkable process reminds us that even in the face of challenges, we have the potential to flourish and bloom into something magnificent.


Sunflower season not only captivates us with its breathtaking beauty but also serves as a wellspring of inspiration. Artists, writers, and photographers alike are drawn to the enchanting allure of these magnificent flowers. Their vibrant hues and captivating symmetry awaken our creativity and ignite a spark of imagination within us. They encourage us to see the world through a different lens, to appreciate the simple pleasures, and to find inspiration in the most unexpected places.

The Foundation of Strong Relationships

We often jump straight into the exciting parts of a relationship: the sparks, the butterflies, the whirlwind romance. But like any well-constructed building, love requires a solid foundation. And that foundation is built with each layer essential for the overall structure.


At the base is honesty. It’s the cornerstone, the unwavering truth that holds everything together. Without honesty, trust is impossible.


Trust is the next layer. It’s the safety net that allows us to feel secure and vulnerable. With trust comes emotional security, the belief that we’re seen, heard, and valued. It’s the fertile ground where intimacy can grow.


Intimacy isn’t just physical. It’s the deep connection, the shared vulnerability, the knowing glances and unspoken words. It’s the foundation upon which sexual attraction can flourish.


And finally, there’s the physical connection, the spark that ignites the flame. But without the previous layers, it’s like building a house on sand. It might look impressive at first, but it won’t withstand the storms.


It’s a journey, definitely not a destination. Building a strong relationship takes time, equal effort, and a willingness to be open and honest. Remember, love is a verb. It’s an action, a choice, a commitment. It’s about nurturing the connection, day by day, brick by brick.

Resilience Rising

Life throws us into the depths of despair, often when we least expect it. I know this all too well. There was a time when grief felt like a heavy cloak, suffocating every ounce of joy I had. It was as if the universe had conspired against little ole me, leaving me to navigate a world filled with unbearable tragedy. Yet, amidst that darkness, I discovered that life can still be meaningful, even in the face of overwhelming sorrow.

At first, I found myself questioning everything. Why did this happen? What was the purpose? I was enveloped in a fog of pain that seemed impenetrable. Each day felt like an uphill battle, and I often wondered if I would ever find joy again. But as time passed, I began to realize that grief, while a heavy burden, was also a testament to the love and connection I had experienced.

So I started to reflect on the beautiful moments that had once filled my life. Memories flooded my thoughts—laughter shared with those I love, quiet evenings spent in their company, and the warmth of their smiles. These memories became my lifeline, reminding me that even in the darkest times, love endures. I learned that it was okay to cherish those moments while simultaneously feeling the weight of my loss.

I also discovered the importance of vulnerability. Instead of hiding my pain, I began to share my story with others. I found solace in the understanding of friends and family who had experienced their own struggles. In opening up, I realized that we are not alone in our suffering. There is a unique strength in community, a healing power that comes from connecting with others who understand the depths of our pain.

As I embraced this journey, I began to seek out ways to honor my loved ones. I started pouring my energy into making a positive impact in the world. This gave me a sense of purpose and allowed me to feel that their spirit lived on through my actions. I found meaning not just in my memories, but in the legacy of love they left behind.

Through this process, I learned that life is a tapestry woven with both joy and sorrow. Each thread, beautiful and unpretty, is essential, contributing to the richness of our experience. It’s easy to get lost in the darkness, but I discovered that light can still break through, revealing the beauty that exists even in the most challenging times.

I began to appreciate the little things—a warm cup of tea, the sound of rain, or the beauty of a sunrise. These small moments became reminders that life, despite its overwhelming tragedies, still holds wonder and beauty. They taught me to be present and to find gratitude in the everyday.

If you’re navigating a similar path, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to grieve and to allow yourself to experience the depths of your emotions. But I also encourage you to seek out the light. Look for the moments that make your heart flutter, the connections that bring you comfort, and the ways you can honor those you’ve lost.

Life is a journey, one that requires patience and self-compassion. But as we walk this path, we can find ways to create beauty from our pain, transforming our grief into a source of strength. Even in the darkest of nights, the stars still shine. And in that light, we can find hope, purpose, and a renewed appreciation for the gift of life.

Saying “No” with Self-Love

Lately, the word “no” has become my mantra. It’s not a negative word, but a powerful tool for protecting my emotional well-being. Saying “no” to dates might sound crazy, but trust me, it’s a form of self-care that’s blossoming beautifully.


Breakups leave scars, emotional ones that take time to mend. Right now, I’m in the gentle process of healing, rediscovering myself, and figuring out what kind of story I want to write next. Dating in this vulnerable space feels like putting on roller skates before learning to walk again. Not smart.


So, instead of forcing myself into potentially awkward situations, I’m focusing on inner exploration.  I’m back to reading self-help books filled with wisdom, not TikTok videos. I’m taking long walks in nature, listening to smooth lofi, not the noise of a crowded restaurant.  I’m spending quality time with my children and close friends, basking in the warmth of genuine connection.


This period in my life isn’t about staying stagnant. It’s about creating a foundation of self-love and understanding.  It’s about remembering my worth and setting boundaries that prioritize my emotional health. When I eventually do decide to open myself up to dating again, it will be from a place of strength and clarity, not desperation and loneliness.


Remember: saying “no” is a powerful act of self-love. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise. Focus on healing, on rediscovering who you are, and trust that love will find you again, but on your terms and on your own beautiful timeline.

Steamy Short: The Unlearned Language of Love

Rain lashed against the windowpane, mirroring the storm brewing within me. Evan sat across the table, oblivious to the turmoil in my heart. His eyes held a faint glimmer of the warmth I used to see, a flicker of recognition when I’d compliment him, a fleeting smile when I surprised him with his favorite food. But mostly, there was a hollowness, a vast emptiness that no amount of affection on my part could seem to fill.


We met at a wedding, two broken souls drawn together by the therapeutic rhythm of reception music. He was a sculptor, his hands whispering stories into the formless earth. I was a writer, weaving narratives on paper. Yet, the story we wrote together was one of mismatched languages.


My love for him was a vibrant tapestry – a sunrise over a mountaintop, the laughter of children at play, the reassuring warmth of a crackling fire. It was loud, expressive, a constant symphony yearning for a response. His love, if it existed at all, was a faint whisper – a lone wolf howling into the night, a flickering candle flame in a drafty room.


Our days were filled with stolen moments of tenderness – a lingering touch on his shoulder, a slow dance in the kitchen to a forgotten melody. But these moments were islands in a vast ocean of silence. My attempts to draw him in were met with flinches and unspoken apologies. It was like trying to teach a bird to swim, watching it struggle against the current, fear clouding its trusting eyes.


Slowly, a heartbreaking truth dawned on me. You can’t love someone into loving themself. You can’t force them to understand a language they’ve never been taught to speak. My love, a nourishing sun, was withering on the vine, starved for the reciprocating rain of affection.


Letting go wasn’t a dramatic affair. There were no tears, no accusations. It was a quiet understanding that settled between us, a recognition of the inevitable. Over breakfast one morning, I simply said, “Maybe this isn’t working.” He looked up, a flicker of something akin to pain crossing his features, before nodding silently.


Even now, as I pack my bags, leaving a life once filled with hope, a part of me still aches for him. I yearn for the man I saw beneath the layers of hurt, the man who might have learned to love, someday, if only he’d had the chance.


But for now, our paths diverge. I carry the love I had for him, not as a bitter reminder, but as a testament to my own capacity for caring. He, I hope, will find his own melody, his own way to heal, his own language of love. And maybe, someday, our stories will find an echo in another life, a life where love flows freely, a song sung in perfect harmony.

A Celebration of Long Hugs and Near Smiles

Life scatters us like dandelion seeds. Some friends planted roots near me, their laughter a familiar comfort just a phone call away. Others chase dreams across oceans, their faces lighting up my screen in small moments of connection. But no matter the distance, the love remains, a constant hum beneath the ever-changing melody of life.


We get caught up in the daily grind, the emails, the to-do lists, and somehow, “thank you” gets buried beneath the urgency of “must do.” But life moves by too fast. Before we know it, those cherished moments become cherished memories, and the people who hold those memories become even more precious.


Across the world or across the room, the people we love deserve to know how much they mean to us. Maybe it’s the friend who always picks up the phone, no matter how chaotic their life is. Perhaps it’s the family member who offers a listening ear and a warm hug during tough times. Or maybe it’s the person who simply makes you laugh until your sides ache. These are the people who weave threads of joy, support, and love into the tapestry of our lives. They deserve to hear, loud and clear, the impact they have.


So, forget the awkwardness of expressing my feelings. Ditch the “I’ll tell them later” mentality and embrace the power of “you make me a better person.”  Send a heartfelt message, pick up the phone for a long overdue conversation, or better yet, plan a trip to see that person who lives far away.


Long hugs might be rare for some of us, but a heartfelt text goes a long way. A near smile might be a daily occurrence for others, but a handwritten letter can carry a special weight. The point is, express yourself! Let the people you love know how much they matter.


Because life is short, and the connections we build are what truly matter in the end. Let’s cherish them, near or far, with open hearts and unwavering love.  Celebrate the people who make our journey brighter, a little louder and a little clearer, one heartfelt expression at a time.