Dr. Mae Jemison has without a doubt has inspired many young African American children ideas and dreams of exploring space. Hopefully through STEM learning more people of color are afforded the opportunity to travel to space, motivating more and more of our youth to assist with advancements in technology, science and math. Afterall, they are our future!
Work more and better the coming year than the previous year
Mary Eliza Mahoney
Kicking off Black History Month with an infographic to highlight how Black History Month came about.
This day on any other year was like a holiday. It was the day you and I spent time together doing whatever you liked. It was the day that I put together a little party for you with a cake that you never ate, gifts and attempted to bring together your favorite people under one roof. It’s the day I wanted you to feel celebrated, loved, honored and appreciated. No it’s not Mother’s Day…it’s your Birthday!
Today is hard for me for two reasons. One it’s your birthday and two it is the 10 month anniversary of your transition. I purposefully worked today, which is also something I don’t normally do on this day. And to top it off, I packed my scheduled as tight as I could to eliminate any free time to cry and waddle in sorrow. You never liked to see me cry. It always made you tear up and you’d tell me to stop or walk away from me if you couldn’t contain your tears. Well, my entire day fell apart. I guess the message that was being given to me was that I needed to “tend” to my feelings. All my meetings except two were cancelled, my trainings were rescheduled and I had a huge hole in my day. I had already been up way before my alarm went off, staring at the ceiling and crying, thinking of all the reasons why I’m grateful and then following them up with all the reasons why I felt like such shit.
I tried to steer clear of my phone as I knew the photo memories would pop up. But every time I looked at my clock display, pictures of us or you and the kids appeared. After a while, I decided to take a look at the Google notification that I swipe left almost everyday. I just wanted to hear you laugh or say my name. I stopped on a picture of me looking like I allowed the wind to style my hair for the day. There was a caption that said I was headed to spend the day with my favorite girl on her special day. This was your last birthday at home. I always picked up food, had a cake or cupcakes that you never ate and gifts. I could not forget the gifts. This year it was some weird “As Seen On TV” crap that you bugged me about as if Christmas hadn’t just come and gone. It’s crazy because I would hunt and find it just to see your face light up.
I stumbled on a picture of me, you and your only granddaughter. Generations in one picture. We all have that nose of yours lol. I smile. You looked like you had just cursed me out because I interrupted your game that you were playing on your tablet. But you were dressed up and sitting with your legs crossed like the lady you were. I felt this tug at my heart. My eyes immediately starting to fill with tears. Normally I’d try to stop it but today, I removed my glasses and I just let the tears fall. I miss you. I don’t know what to do today. And I feel so lost.
I watched past videos of your birthday parties. I laughed at the one where I put trick candles on your cake and you kept trying to blow them out. You were about to get pissed at me. Grandma was fussing because she did not want me to drop the candles on the floor and burn down the house lol. Matt was ill because I kept laughing when the candles wouldn’t go out lol. That was the best. I scrolled to the picture when I got you an outfit and your boots…lord you worried me so bad about them damn boots! The following year, you had on the entire outfit for your birthday and you didn’t want me to take a picture of you. I knew you hated pictures but they are all I have now so I’m glad I snapped them anyways.
I really do not know what I am doing here anymore. I truly have built the life that I have to take care of you, and then to care for your grandchildren. But you most of all because I wanted you to be proud of the child that you raised that beat all the odds. I did’t end up pregnant as a teen. I didn’t let not having my Father around push me down a path of destruction and drugs. I left the little town you raised me in and I made something of myself. I spent time in the military, went to college, got married, started a career, got a good job, had kids, helped raise my Brother and took care of you anyway I could. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be proud of me. Now that you’re gone, what do I do?
I’m struggling with this part of grief. Often isolating myself because I feel as though no one understands or cares. When I’m all alone with my thoughts, this is where I truly miss having you around. Without saying a word, you knew when I was upset. You knew when I was excited. When I was happy. When I had the sillies. You were always there to listen, give advice when you felt it was necessary and just be my best friend. I never had to remind you. It came naturally.
So i’m accepting it…losing my best friend is something that I will never get over. I have accepted that. But I refuse to stop celebrating you. The last thing I want is to one day forget your birthday just because you aren’t here. I gave you the best that I had while you were here. And I don’t know how to stop.
UNKNOWN
“SOMETIMES MEMORIES CREEP OUT OF MY EYES AND ROLL DOWN MY FACE.”
I hope you are having the best day ever even though it’s not here with us. I miss you and love you dearly and that will never change.
When most people think of positive thinking, they imagine something flowery and nonrealistic. It’s true that our moods are greatly affected by the way we see things, but positivity isn’t just about sitting around thinking happy thoughts and skipping through fields of flowers on sunshiny days. Positive thinking is about embracing the reality of our situations and deciding to make the best of them instead of making excuses or dwelling on past failures. I had a conversation about this topic with my other half as he tells me often that I am so optimistic in situations.
Last night I challenged him to look at things in a more positive light instead of instantly thinking negatively. It is my belief that positive thinking is the root of a positive lifestyle. And many people don’t realize that the negative thought patterns that they create will multiply the more they think about them. I know he doesn’t wholeheartedly agree but just the simple fact that he will give it a try makes me love him even more.
In an effort to prove my opinion that our mind creates our reality; think about a time when someone spoke to you about a car that they wanted that you weren’t really familiar with or a TV show that was recommended to you. After the conversation about the car or the tv show, I can almost guarantee that you began to see that car or that TV show often and almost everywhere.
Why do you think this is so? I believe that this happens because your mind has just become aware of that car or tv show. So just think, if your mind becomes aware of prosperity, living a good life and abundance due to your positive thoughts then that is what you will begin to see in your reality.
Simply put, the mind is like a computer. The information that you put into it, it will be output in your reality. And it will continue to be output as long and you continue to input said information, ie. positivity.
Positive thinking won’t solve every problem that you have in your life, but it will help you deal with the things that you can’t avoid and reduce stress in your daily life so that you are more likely to be productive even when the ‘going gets tough’. Believe me, it took me a while to adopt this mind set and to believe it myself. I was one of those people who thought that I truly got the short end of the stick in life. While I never truly experienced lack, I always had nagging thoughts that bad things were just always occurring in my life. Once I began to meditate, I shifted my thoughts to more positive things to release those negative thoughts that would arise. And then my life seem to change course. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have bad days, or that I don’t experience setbacks from time to time but it just goes to show that I have the ability to choose what my mind processes to produce positivity in everyday life to be able to more easily handle those bad days and focus on the positive aspects of any seemingly negative situation.
Stay positive!!!
In My Unapologetic Life... 