#growth – In My Unapologetic Life…

Black Love, Boundaries, and Hope

This evening, I’m curled up on the couch with my blanket, soaking in episode after episode of Black Love, and let me tell you—it’s hitting me right in the soul. There’s something magical about watching couples share their stories with such rawness and vulnerability. The women on the show keep saying something that resonates deeply with me: They didn’t have to change themselves to be in the healthy relationships they’re in.

That message is like a breath of fresh air. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out where love and boundaries intersect, and hearing these women affirm that they were fully embraced for who they are gives me hope. It reminds me why I’ve chosen to walk away from relationships where my boundaries were crossed. Leaving wasn’t easy, but watching these couples proves that honoring my needs is the right path to finding the love I deserve.

And then there are the men—whew, the way they talk about their journeys to love is nothing short of beautiful. They share the exact moments they knew they loved these women, how they set aside their egos, and how they learned to nurture their relationships. It’s inspiring to see men actively choosing to grow for the sake of love. It’s a kind of love story that doesn’t ask for perfection, just honesty and effort.

But can we talk about the way these couples look at each other? It’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist when their eyes lock. That kind of love—the kind that holds you, sees you, and celebrates you—is what I hope to find. Watching them gives me this quiet reassurance that my person is out there somewhere, too. I may not know when or where I’ll meet him, but it’s comforting to believe that when the time is right, our paths will cross.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Black Love and my own experiences, it’s that love rooted in authenticity is worth the wait. It’s not about settling or molding myself to fit someone’s expectations. It’s about staying true to who I am, setting boundaries, and trusting that the right person will embrace all of it—the good, the messy, and the beautiful.

So here I am, hopeful, read for not just any love, but the kind that feels like home. Until then, I’ll keep growing, keep thriving, and keep holding onto the belief that my story is still being written. Because if Black Love has taught me anything, it’s that the best love stories don’t require us to compromise who we are—they simply ask us to show up, wholeheartedly. 🫶🏾

Selective Social Circles: Because People Can Be a Real Drag (And Phone Zombies)

Let’s face it, people can be very exhausting. It’s like they’re constantly sucking the life out of others. But it’s not just the negative vibes; it’s also the constant phone scrolling and social media addiction. I’ve reached a point where I’ve decided to be highly selective about who I spend my time with.

I’m not saying I’m antisocial, but I’m definitely pro-social. I love hanging out with others who lift up people, inspire others, and enjoy laughing. But those energy vampires and phone zombies? No thanks. There no interest in being drained by negativity, drama, or someone’s constant need for attention.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no as well as let others exit your life. It’s okay to prioritize personal well-being. After all, no one is a human battery charger. We all need to recharge too. So, to be part of my circle, here’s what I request:

Be positive: No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer. Let’s keep the vibes positive, please. Life can already be a drag at times.
Be respectful: Treat others with kindness and consideration. No drama, no judging others, no gossip, just good vibes.
Be interesting: Have something to say, something to offer. Don’t just sit there and expect me to entertain you.
Put the phone down: I get it, social media is addictive. But when we’re together, let’s actually be together. If we aren’t capturing photos for memories, let’s leave the phones be.
Don’t be a energy vampire: If you’re constantly complaining, whining, or seeking validation, please take your negativity elsewhere. Complaining and doing nothing about the issue is so annoying.

If these simple requirements can be met, then you might just make the cut. But if not, well, I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to settle for being an afterthought. Because my mental health is more important than anyone’s feelings (and phone).

After This, We Die

In the grand tapestry of existence, there’s one undeniable truth we all face: after this life, we die. This reality can either weigh us down with fear or, conversely, set us free to live our lives authentically. Imagine waking up each day with a renewed sense of purpose, liberated from the heavy chains of others’ opinions. It’s time to embrace our lives fully, to enjoy every moment, and to create boundaries that protect our peace.

Impermanence can be such a gift. The awareness of our mortality can be a powerful catalyst for change. When we truly understand that our time is finite, it shifts our perspective. Why spend precious moments worrying about what others think of us? Instead, let’s focus on living in a way that feels true to who we are. Each day is a blank canvas—let’s fill it with vibrant colors that reflect our passions, dreams, and desires.

Living honestly means shedding the masks we often wear to please others. It means being brave enough to express our true selves, even if it invites criticism or judgment. When we live authentically, we cultivate a life rich in meaning and fulfillment. It’s about choosing authenticity over approval, creating a life that resonates with our innermost values.

There is power in boundaries. To maintain this newfound freedom, we must establish boundaries. These are not walls to shut others out, but rather protective barriers that preserve our mental and emotional well-being. Setting boundaries means prioritizing our peace over the expectations of others. It’s about saying “no” to things that drain us and “yes” to opportunities that nurture our souls.

Think about the relationships in your life: are they uplifting or depleting? Are there situations that cause unnecessary stress? Identifying and addressing these aspects can lead to a more balanced and joyful existence. It’s okay to step back from relationships that don’t serve our highest good. In doing so, we create space for connections that inspire and energize us.

Life is too short to dwell on worries and unhappiness. Instead, let’s focus on finding joy in the present moment. Engage in activities that spark joy—whether it’s pursuing a hobby, spending time with loved ones, or simply enjoying a quiet moment in nature. Celebrate the little things; these are the threads that weave a rich and fulfilling life.

Living authentically also means embracing vulnerability. It’s about sharing our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs without fear of judgment. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we foster deeper connections with others. We invite authenticity into our relationships, creating an environment where everyone feels safe to be themselves.

As we navigate this journey, remember that the only validation we need comes from within. The opinions of others are fleeting, but our choices and experiences shape our legacy. Let’s strive to live a life we can look back on with pride, knowing we honored our true selves and made the most of every moment.

In the end, we only have this one life. Let’s fill it with authenticity, joy, and meaningful connections. Embrace who you are, set your boundaries, and cherish the time you have. After all, it’s not about the years in our life, but the life in our years. So, go ahead—live boldly, love fiercely, and enjoy the beautiful journey that is uniquely yours.

What If What We Think Is the End Is Only the Beginning?

Life presents us with moments that seem insurmountable—a job loss, the end of a cherished relationship, a dream that fades into the distance. In those moments, it’s easy to feel like we’ve reached an irrevocable endpoint, a closing chapter that leaves us with a sense of finality. But what if, instead of viewing these experiences as endings, we opened ourselves to the possibility that they are merely beginnings in disguise?

Follow me down this random rabbit hole. When faced with what we perceive as an end, it’s vital to shift our perspective and embrace the change. This can be challenging; after all, change often brings discomfort and uncertainty. However, moments of upheaval can act as catalysts for growth. They force us to reevaluate our lives, our goals, and our passions. They can drive us to discover strengths we didn’t know we possessed and to pursue paths that align more authentically with who we truly are.

Every ending carries within it the seeds of new beginnings. These transitions are opportunities for reinvention. They allow us to dig deep, to reflect on what truly matters, and to consider what we want to create moving forward. It’s a chance to reimagine our futures and to step boldly into the unknown.

The next time you feel like you’ve reached an endpoint, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself: What new beginnings might be waiting for me on the other side of this challenge? What opportunities for growth and discovery lie hidden within this situation?

Embrace the uncertainty and allow yourself to be open to new experiences. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage your journey, and don’t be afraid to seek out inspiration in unexpected places. The beauty of life is often found in the transitions, the moments that challenge us to evolve and adapt.

What we perceive as endings may simply be the universe whispering, “Get ready for something extraordinary!”

Olympic Day Date: More Than Just Medals

Who knew watching people run, play basketball, and breakdance could be such a perfect recipe for a day date? Well, let me tell you, it is.

An impromptu casual get-together with this nice man, with the promise of good food and even better company. But throw in the Olympics? It was like adding a sprinkle of gold to an already perfect plan.

We found ourselves falling into an easy rhythm of conversation. It was like we’d known each other for years. So we chatted and discussed what to do since he shared that the day wasn’t completely planned but he wanted to spend time with me. I appreciated the thought and his offer to treat me like a Queen.

After we did a little shopping, we retreated to his place for the main event: the 2024 Olympics. His living room was the perfect setting – big comfy couch, big screen, a furry companion and just the right amount of natural light. As the US Men’s basketball game unfolded, we cheered, groaned, and analyzed performances with equal enthusiasm. It was amazing how something as simple as watching TV could feel so tête-à-tête and fun.

We’d pause the action for little bursts of conversation, learning more about each other with every passing minute. And then, just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, he surprised me with homemade dessert.

As the evening drew to a close, I found myself feeling relaxed. The Olympics had provided the perfect backdrop for a day filled with laughter, good food, and even better company. Sometimes, the simplest impromptu plans are the best ones. And this Olympic day date was definitely a winner. He might just have earned a spot later for a second date due to his hospitality, manners, and conversation.

Have you ever had a date that completely surprised you? Share your stories in the comments!

The Foundation of Strong Relationships

We often jump straight into the exciting parts of a relationship: the sparks, the butterflies, the whirlwind romance. But like any well-constructed building, love requires a solid foundation. And that foundation is built with each layer essential for the overall structure.

At the base is honesty. It’s the cornerstone, the unwavering truth that holds everything together. Without honesty, trust is impossible.

Trust is the next layer. It’s the safety net that allows us to feel secure and vulnerable. With trust comes emotional security, the belief that we’re seen, heard, and valued. It’s the fertile ground where intimacy can grow.

Intimacy isn’t just physical. It’s the deep connection, the shared vulnerability, the knowing glances and unspoken words. It’s the foundation upon which sexual attraction can flourish.

And finally, there’s the physical connection, the spark that ignites the flame. But without the previous layers, it’s like building a house on sand. It might look impressive at first, but it won’t withstand the storms.

It’s a journey, definitely not a destination. Building a strong relationship takes time, equal effort, and a willingness to be open and honest. Remember, love is a verb. It’s an action, a choice, a commitment. It’s about nurturing the connection, day by day, brick by brick.

Resilience Rising

Life throws us into the depths of despair, often when we least expect it. I know this all too well. There was a time when grief felt like a heavy cloak, suffocating every ounce of joy I had. It was as if the universe had conspired against little ole me, leaving me to navigate a world filled with unbearable tragedy. Yet, amidst that darkness, I discovered that life can still be meaningful, even in the face of overwhelming sorrow.

At first, I found myself questioning everything. Why did this happen? What was the purpose? I was enveloped in a fog of pain that seemed impenetrable. Each day felt like an uphill battle, and I often wondered if I would ever find joy again. But as time passed, I began to realize that grief, while a heavy burden, was also a testament to the love and connection I had experienced.

So I started to reflect on the beautiful moments that had once filled my life. Memories flooded my thoughts—laughter shared with those I love, quiet evenings spent in their company, and the warmth of their smiles. These memories became my lifeline, reminding me that even in the darkest times, love endures. I learned that it was okay to cherish those moments while simultaneously feeling the weight of my loss.

I also discovered the importance of vulnerability. Instead of hiding my pain, I began to share my story with others. I found solace in the understanding of friends and family who had experienced their own struggles. In opening up, I realized that we are not alone in our suffering. There is a unique strength in community, a healing power that comes from connecting with others who understand the depths of our pain.

As I embraced this journey, I began to seek out ways to honor my loved ones. I started pouring my energy into making a positive impact in the world. This gave me a sense of purpose and allowed me to feel that their spirit lived on through my actions. I found meaning not just in my memories, but in the legacy of love they left behind.

Through this process, I learned that life is a tapestry woven with both joy and sorrow. Each thread, beautiful and unpretty, is essential, contributing to the richness of our experience. It’s easy to get lost in the darkness, but I discovered that light can still break through, revealing the beauty that exists even in the most challenging times.

I began to appreciate the little things—a warm cup of tea, the sound of rain, or the beauty of a sunrise. These small moments became reminders that life, despite its overwhelming tragedies, still holds wonder and beauty. They taught me to be present and to find gratitude in the everyday.

If you’re navigating a similar path, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to grieve and to allow yourself to experience the depths of your emotions. But I also encourage you to seek out the light. Look for the moments that make your heart flutter, the connections that bring you comfort, and the ways you can honor those you’ve lost.

Life is a journey, one that requires patience and self-compassion. But as we walk this path, we can find ways to create beauty from our pain, transforming our grief into a source of strength. Even in the darkest of nights, the stars still shine. And in that light, we can find hope, purpose, and a renewed appreciation for the gift of life.