#growth – Page 2 – In My Unapologetic Life…

Resilience Rising

Life throws us into the depths of despair, often when we least expect it. I know this all too well. There was a time when grief felt like a heavy cloak, suffocating every ounce of joy I had. It was as if the universe had conspired against little ole me, leaving me to navigate a world filled with unbearable tragedy. Yet, amidst that darkness, I discovered that life can still be meaningful, even in the face of overwhelming sorrow.

At first, I found myself questioning everything. Why did this happen? What was the purpose? I was enveloped in a fog of pain that seemed impenetrable. Each day felt like an uphill battle, and I often wondered if I would ever find joy again. But as time passed, I began to realize that grief, while a heavy burden, was also a testament to the love and connection I had experienced.

So I started to reflect on the beautiful moments that had once filled my life. Memories flooded my thoughts—laughter shared with those I love, quiet evenings spent in their company, and the warmth of their smiles. These memories became my lifeline, reminding me that even in the darkest times, love endures. I learned that it was okay to cherish those moments while simultaneously feeling the weight of my loss.

I also discovered the importance of vulnerability. Instead of hiding my pain, I began to share my story with others. I found solace in the understanding of friends and family who had experienced their own struggles. In opening up, I realized that we are not alone in our suffering. There is a unique strength in community, a healing power that comes from connecting with others who understand the depths of our pain.

As I embraced this journey, I began to seek out ways to honor my loved ones. I started pouring my energy into making a positive impact in the world. This gave me a sense of purpose and allowed me to feel that their spirit lived on through my actions. I found meaning not just in my memories, but in the legacy of love they left behind.

Through this process, I learned that life is a tapestry woven with both joy and sorrow. Each thread, beautiful and unpretty, is essential, contributing to the richness of our experience. It’s easy to get lost in the darkness, but I discovered that light can still break through, revealing the beauty that exists even in the most challenging times.

I began to appreciate the little things—a warm cup of tea, the sound of rain, or the beauty of a sunrise. These small moments became reminders that life, despite its overwhelming tragedies, still holds wonder and beauty. They taught me to be present and to find gratitude in the everyday.

If you’re navigating a similar path, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to grieve and to allow yourself to experience the depths of your emotions. But I also encourage you to seek out the light. Look for the moments that make your heart flutter, the connections that bring you comfort, and the ways you can honor those you’ve lost.

Life is a journey, one that requires patience and self-compassion. But as we walk this path, we can find ways to create beauty from our pain, transforming our grief into a source of strength. Even in the darkest of nights, the stars still shine. And in that light, we can find hope, purpose, and a renewed appreciation for the gift of life.

Finding My Rhythm

For a long time, I was a people-pleaser. My world revolved around making everyone else comfortable, even at the expense of my own peace. I said yes to everything, from extra assignments at work to social events that drained my energy. But somewhere along the way, I realized that in trying to be everything to everyone, I had lost myself.

It was a gradual shift, a quiet revolution. I started noticing how exhausted I felt, how my own needs were being overlooked in the pursuit of keeping others happy. And that’s when I decided to reclaim my peace.

Learning to say “no” wasn’t easy. It felt selfish at first, like I was letting people down. But the truth is, I was letting myself down by constantly overextending myself. By setting boundaries, not only was I just protecting my peace, but also honoring my own needs and values.

It was like building a fortress around my heart, a safe haven where I could recharge and refocus. This doesn’t mean I shut people out; it means I chose who and what got to occupy that precious space. It’s about creating a life that nourishes my soul, where I have the freedom to be my authentic self without feeling drained.

I chose myself, and I found that sweet spot where self-care and connection beautifully intertwine. I love it here.

Saying “No” with Self-Love

Lately, the word “no” has become my mantra. It’s not a negative word, but a powerful tool for protecting my emotional well-being. Saying “no” to dates might sound crazy, but trust me, it’s a form of self-care that’s blossoming beautifully.

Breakups leave scars, emotional ones that take time to mend. Right now, I’m in the gentle process of healing, rediscovering myself, and figuring out what kind of story I want to write next. Dating in this vulnerable space feels like putting on roller skates before learning to walk again. Not smart.

So, instead of forcing myself into potentially awkward situations, I’m focusing on inner exploration. I’m back to reading self-help books filled with wisdom, not TikTok videos. I’m taking long walks in nature, listening to smooth lofi, not the noise of a crowded restaurant. I’m spending quality time with my children and close friends, basking in the warmth of genuine connection.

This period in my life isn’t about staying stagnant. It’s about creating a foundation of self-love and understanding. It’s about remembering my worth and setting boundaries that prioritize my emotional health. When I eventually do decide to open myself up to dating again, it will be from a place of strength and clarity, not desperation and loneliness.

Remember: saying “no” is a powerful act of self-love. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise. Focus on healing, on rediscovering who you are, and trust that love will find you again, but on your terms and on your own beautiful timeline.

My Plantastic Jungle: Where Chill Vibes Grow

Working from home day in and day out can be a total drag sometimes. Like, deadlines are piling up faster than the dirty laundry, and the world feels like it’s running on fast-forward. But guess what? I’ve got the ultimate stress-busting secret weapon: my very own plantastic jungle!

Okay, okay, maybe it’s not technically a jungle (yet!), but it’s definitely overflowing with awesome plants that make my home feel like a total oasis. Some might call it an obsession, but I call it happiness central! These leafy besties seriously bring the chill vibes.

Every morning, before the day really starts, I do a little happy dance with my green crew. Watering their thirsty leaves, misting the air for my humidity-loving ferns – it’s like a mini spa day that sets the tone for a peaceful day. And let me tell you, seeing a new leaf unfurl is like watching a tiny miracle unfold – it’s just so darn inspiring!

But the coolest part of it all, is taking care of these plant pals like I take care of myself. It’s a daily reminder that even with all the craziness in life, we can still create something amazing. Plus, these little green ninjas are basically nature’s air purifiers – they breathe in yucky carbon dioxide and breathe out life-giving oxygen. Totally the ultimate wellness squad for me and my asthmatic princess!

Beyond the science stuff, though, they’re just plain gorgeous. My pothos hangs like a lush curtain of green, while my African violets add bursts of color like tiny confetti explosions. Every plant has its own personality (and name!), making my jungle a living, evolving work of art.

Stepping into this haven is pure magic. The gentle hum of the humidifier, the earthy scent of fresh soil, the soft light filtering through the leaves – it’s like entering a chilled-out dreamscape that melts away stress faster than you can say “namaste.”

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need a little piece of peace in your life, consider joining the totally awesome plant parent club! It takes a little patience and effort, sure, but the rewards are way cooler than just pretty decorations. It’s a space to breathe, to grow, and to reconnect with the simple joys of life. Because sometimes, all you need is a little plantastic therapy to find your happy place!

A Celebration of “Trying”

“Trying.” It’s a word often tossed around casually, but lately, it’s felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’m in the thick of growth, tangled in the messy process of healing. Forgiveness feels like a distant melody while grief lingers like a shadow. I search for answers while wrestling with the need to let go.

This life we lead is a juggling act. And let’s be honest, sometimes the balls feel like they’re all about to come crashing down. Yet, here I am, catching them (most of the time) and trying again.

We often focus on achievements, on the finished product. But what about the messy in-between? The part where growth and healing coexist in a chaotic dance? Where forgiveness feels like a whisper against the roar of anger, and grief clings to us even as we try to let go?

This “trying” phase deserves its own celebration. It’s a testament to the human spirit, to our inherent desire to become better versions of ourselves. It’s the quiet voice within us saying, “I may be hurting, but I’m still here, and I’m still moving forward.”

It’s okay if forgiveness takes time. It’s okay if grief ebbs and flows. It’s okay if searching for answers feels like wandering in the fog. The important thing is that we’re still trying.

And while we’re busy juggling growth and healing, don’t forget the most important love story of all: the one with yourself. It’s easy to get lost in the needs of others, to prioritize the world around us. But in the midst of “trying,” remember to show yourself some compassion.

You are worthy of love, even when you’re messy and imperfect. You are strong, even when you feel fragile. You are capable of incredible things, even when you’re just “trying.”

To the jugglers, the healers, the grievers, the searchers, and the lovers. May we celebrate the “trying” phase, for it’s in this messy, beautiful in-between that we truly grow.

Sending love and encouragement to you all on your own unique journeys. ✨

Surviving to Living

After a good meditation session early this morning I no longer have the desire to be “the strong one”. I have always been the strong person. I’ve always had to be the strong child, sibling, parent and friend. As of today I no longer desire to be that person because I realize that it is unhealthy.

At almost 40 years old, I’m now understanding that being “the strong one” is not a flex and it is tiring. I really think I’m truly tired now because I have realized that I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. I continually operate in fight or flight mode. I have been living in survival mode.

Most people don’t understand that “the strong one” carries a lot on the daily. A tremendous deal of trauma. The strength that everyone thinks is a gift, is merely a shield that is used to block people and situations from hurting us. This is definitely not something to be proud of and again in no shape or form healthy.

It is better known as a defense mechanism. If you only knew how badly I would love to just relax in a space where I am comfortable, sit down with no time constraints, and allow someone genuine to come into this space and love me unconditionally. And I’m not referring to a romantic relationship but also friends and family that WANT to occupy space with me. I want to be able to truly trust others. I want to be able to be more feminine and less masculine. Hell, I want to be able to understand and trust myself enough to know that I am allowing the right people into my space. But it is hard. I have been repeatedly hurt, used, abused, and have experienced so much trauma for so long that I didn’t know where to start.

Well my starting point is my blog post, right now, today. As of this moment I can no longer be ‘that person’ for anyone because I need to be that person for myself. I am constantly drained because I am always pouring into someone else, supporting someone else, reaching out and being there for someone else. But I don’t have enough people pouring into me. And I realize that it may not be because they don’t want to, but because they feel as though I don’t need it since I have managed to still be able to smile and exist after many losses, tests and trials in this lifetime.

I encourage anyone reading this to make a conscious effort to check on their “strong” friends, siblings, children, parents and other loved ones that are hyper independent. Reach out to those that you don’t think need you, because they are probably feeling just like me too.

Always remember, every person that comes into your life is only there for a limited time, so show up and be present. Sometimes later never comes and tomorrow is too late.

Sick & Tired

I rarely get in my feelings…maybe it’s because I live in my head, maybe it’s because I careless what people think of me but anyways there’s this repetitive pattern I’ve noticed with a “so-called” friend of mine that has been bothering me but today unraveled me.

Now people who know me well, know I’m quite an understanding and forgiving person. But when things don’t sit well with me, it really nags at me until I address the situation. And this one I’m just not sure how to approach it just yet because I legit want to explode. This gives way to why I don’t trust people.

I realized that I am no longer a very vocal person. How and what I felt use to always exit my speaker box without hesitation. Now I think long and hard before I speak. Sometimes I will purposefully not respond to comments or questions if I feel an internal nudge to “hold my tongue.”

But in the past year, I’ve felt most attacked, judged and criticized by someone I trusted. And during times where I was struggling to merely exist.

This individual is suppose to be a best friend, yet in the past year has not missed an opportunity to make light of what I feel are pivotal times in my life. I’ve tried to ignore and dismiss it but today it really stuck with me.

Living and learning…loving and growing…understanding and appreciating my source peace.

Earth is ghetto. And people on this planet are truly like emotional crabs in a barrel. If they feel like you’re happier than them or have something they don’t, they create a secret competition with you. All the while you’re just loving and trusting them for who you thought they were. #ElysianMe