Death Can Trump Life

It’s my 38th birthday and instead of celebrating my mind is clouded with rhetorical questions. Do you ever ponder the meaning of life? Why are we here? Perhaps these questions surface when we receive news we’d rather not receive, the passing of an parent, a sibling, a friend’s spouse who died for the wrong reason. I did not even believe it myself when others tried to justify the news by saying this is the circle of life.

I don’t make it a habit of reading the obituary columns in the newspaper but occasionally I read about strangers. Many have experienced a long and full life, contributed to society in a meaningful way, were visible within their community. I think how proud their family must be, I also imagine the hurt and grief they are experiencing. I read about the 42-year old father who has succumbed to cancer and leaves behind a wife and two children and I wonder how this is fair. My heart aches when I read about the young child tragically killed in an accident as my eyes fill with tears.

I’m no stranger to death. It does not scare me and I deal with it in quite a weird way. I do however find death emotionally overwhelming. It is hurt, compassion, sadness, pain, empathy, love all rolled together that hits like a tsunami, in waves over a period of time.

I’ve lost high school friends to accidents, drugs, and disease. I’ve seen first hand the impact on a family when their young son took his own life. Like so many others, I have said goodbye to relatives only after they have gone.   

Before now, I bet young people seldom thought of death, they were too busy living life as if they are invincible, surfing social media and following the new trends. Older people tend to prepare for death and accept the event as a natural and inevitable occurrence. Experience and reality have tempered their emotions. The grief and hurt is still there, so is the reflection on the positive aspects of the individual’s life. For some, their biggest worry is if they will fulfill their purpose. 

Maybe this aging process will help me to become less sensitive to the loss of not only those I love, but to those I have only read about in the newspaper. I am thankful my fear of death is more than offset by my passion for life. So it should be. 

So where does this discussion of death take us? It could be to the end of a journey, or the beginning of a new one depending on your beliefs. If you were to have a tombstone, what would it read? Here we are back to the question, what is our mission, our purpose, our goal in life? One accolade might read, “Here lays an honest person who cared about the people around her, respected others and made a positive difference in the lives of everyone she encountered.” If we envision how we want others to remember us, it might provide a valuable compass to aid us down the path of life.

In a perfect world, perhaps caring and understanding might extend well beyond our community and our country. Imagine a common bond based on a desire for truth, justice, peace, and mutual respect. 

We can’t do a lot about death. We can very much impact life – our own and others.

The Countdown

It’s March!!! I’ve been a little absent working on a huge project that I am hoping will change the trajectory of my “career”. As a devout Healthcare IT Professional, I am feeling uninterested, disengaged and unfocused on my 10+ year career choice. While I love my job, my employer and what I do, I no longer find it fulfilling. I know there is something else that I am suppose to be doing that has a much greater purpose.

In an effort to tap into this intuitive feeling of changing directions in my life professionally, I created my own business (again). Except this time, it is a solo venture. I use to love the idea of going into business with a close friend. You know, I eat, they eat, we are all happy and thriving. Nope. People are selfish and self-centered and often times not loyal, honest or trustworthy.

As creative as I am, I find myself doubting my abilities a lot. I suppress my own talents by being afraid not only of failure but also of success and the unknown. Well one day I jumped completely off the ledge into the abyss of owning a business all of my own. I have ideas on pages in journals and in notes on my iPad and phone of things that I want to do. Some I’ve already put into place, others, I’m not sure where to begin. I wrote a book. Completed a few eBooks, working on a Mindful Art course and a grief support group as I felt isolated, unheard, and uncared for by those close to me as I continue to drag myself through this ghetto ass process of grieving. Grief definitely changes you as a person and while losing my Mother created a huge shift in my life, it has not been all negative. If she’s watching, reading, or hovering near I hope she knows I am going to continue to make her proud. I’m not sure what else to do at this point anyways.

The sad part about March is the one year anniversary of my Mom’s transition. This brings about a lot of emotions. I feel like a fortune teller. As if this is all unreal and I am simply predicting a future event, hence reliving the day all over again.

On top of a few exciting business endeavors, March also brings warm weather which allows me to get back to running. (YAY!!!) Never thought I’d be happy to run recreationally after getting out of the Army lol. But the most exciting part of March is that my Baby Love comes home!!! A short hiatus is imminent while we reconnect and reset but stay tuned for all the great things to come. I’m sure there may be a few days where I the urge to blog will strike but I want to spend time uninterrupted with my Love. It’s been way too long.

The Outspoken Critic and Civil Rights Activist

The most iconic photo of the scientific genius on his 72nd Birthday

So I’m hella late to the party on this one, but I’ve always been a fan of Albert Einstein. Should he still be alive today, he would definitely be invited to the “cookout.” I shared my favorite photo of Dr. Albert Einstien above. It was said that this was his reaction to his photo being taken by paparazzi. I love how he was not consumed with what people thought of him. He was a genius and he acted as such. Unusual and unapologetic.

Now, I know Black History month is about shedding light on those African Americans who have contributed to society, but for a moment I want to share a little known “Black History Fact” that I did not know before today.

So, I know Albert Einstein for his theory of relativity. However, what I just learned was never taught or spoke of in any school that I’ve attended and I am baffled but not surprised. The education system continues to teach our children only what they want them to know. Thank God for the Internet, parents, family and friends with time and willingness to spread knowledge!

💡DID YOU KNOW?💡(Because I sure didn’t)

Einstein was good friends with the famous African American opera singer, actor and civil rights activist, Paul Robeson. He and Paul both resided in Princeton, NJ and shared sentiments on racism.

He had great sympathy for African American people in America. It was said that he would wander around the neighborhoods of African Americans in Princeton, NJ to just sit and talk with people, African American people that is. Sharing candy with the children and answering their mound of questions freely. This is not something that he had to do. He did not succumb to the racial divide that polluted this so-called Great Country. While doing so, he ended up under surveillance of the FBI because of his interest and support of the civil rights movement. In addition to not conforming to the world around him, he signed anti-lynching petitions and more notably volunteered to testify as a character witness in the trial of W.E.B. Du Bois.

In 1946, Albert Einstein gave a commencement speech at Lincoln University in Pennsylvania. For those of you who don’t know, Lincoln University is the oldest HBCU. During this commencement speech, he publicly declared the unjust treatment of African Americans to be cruel. He refused to sit quietly on his thoughts and feelings about the hot topic. Sadly the media didn’t give it much coverage and it is rarely mentioned unless you just go looking for information.

Now if you were to search the Internet about any of these things, you will probably uncover many articles that have leaked parts of his journal where he transcribed his thoughts when he traveled the world. But I am a firm believer that it is not what a person thinks, it is what a person does. ACTIONS OVER WORDS. I don’t care what he wrote intimately that was leaked to try and paint him in a negative light. What I do appreciate was his interest, compassion and the actions that he took to show that he did not agree with the treatment of African Americans during that time. Many may want to argue but I feel that he was geniune with his actions above all the other trash that the Internet will produce. Anyone who goes against what “they” think is right, will always be wrong. And that is sad.

Sadly racism is still America’s “worst disease” as black men, women and children are still being modern day “lynched” and treated unfairly due to the color of their skin. Please know that I love all people regardless of skin color because utimately it is what is in your heart that truly matters. Racism is taught and accepted not acquired at birth. I just hope I get to see the day that my people are treated as equal.


Please take a moment and read Einstein’s essay that was published in the January 1946 issue of Pageant magazine.

The Negro Question
by Albert Einstein

I am writing as one who has lived among you in America only a little more than ten years, and I am writing seriously and warningly. Many readers may ask: “What right has he to speak about things which concern us alone, and which no newcomer should touch?”

I do not think such a standpoint is justified. One who has grown up in an environment takes much for granted. On the other hand, one who has come to this country as a mature person may have a keen eye for everything peculiar and characteristic. I believe he should speak out freely on what he sees and feels, for by so doing he may perhaps prove himself useful.

What soon makes the new arrival devoted to this country is the democratic trait among the people. I am not thinking here so much of the democratic political constitution of this country, however highly it must be praised. I am thinking of the relationship between individual people and of the attitude they maintain toward one another.

In the United States everyone feels assured of his worth as an individual. No one humbles himself before another person or class. Even the great difference in wealth, the superior power of a few, cannot undermine this healthy self-confidence and natural respect for the dignity of one’s fellow-man.

There is, however, a somber point in the social outlook of Americans. Their sense of equality and human dignity is mainly limited to men of white skins. Even among these there are prejudices of which I as a Jew am clearly conscious; but they are unimportant in comparison with the attitude of the “Whites” toward their fellow-citizens of darker complexion, particularly toward Negroes. The more I feel an American, the more this situation pains me. I can escape the feeling of complicity in it only by speaking out.

Many a sincere person will answer: “Our attitude towards Negroes is the result of unfavorable experiences which we have had by living side by side with Negroes in this country. They are not our equals in intelligence, sense of responsibility, reliability.”

I am firmly convinced that whoever believes this suffers from a fatal misconception. Your ancestors dragged these black people from their homes by force; and in the white man’s quest for wealth and an easy life they have been ruthlessly suppressed and exploited, degraded into slavery. The modern prejudice against Negroes is the result of the desire to maintain this unworthy condition.

The ancient Greeks also had slaves. They were not Negroes but white men who had been taken captive in war. There could be no talk of racial differences. And yet Aristotle, one of the great Greek philosophers, declared slaves inferior beings who were justly subdued and deprived of their liberty. It is clear that he was enmeshed in a traditional prejudice from which, despite his extraordinary intellect, he could not free himself.

A large part of our attitude toward things is conditioned by opinions and emotions which we unconsciously absorb as children from our environment. In other words, it is tradition — besides inherited aptitudes and qualities — which makes us what we are. We but rarely reflect how relatively small as compared with the powerful influence of tradition is the influence of our conscious thought upon our conduct and convictions.

It would be foolish to despise tradition. But with our growing self-consciousness and increasing intelligence we must begin to control tradition and assume a critical attitude toward it, if human relations are ever to change for the better. We must try to recognize what in our accepted tradition is damaging to our fate and dignity — and shape our lives accordingly.

I believe that whoever tries to think things through honestly will soon recognize how unworthy and even fatal is the traditional bias against Negroes.

What, however, can the man of good will do to combat this deeply rooted prejudice? He must have the courage to set an example by word and deed, and must watch lest his children become influenced by this racial bias.

I do not believe there is a way in which this deeply entrenched evil can be quickly healed. But until this goal is reached there is no greater satisfaction for a just and well-meaning person than the knowledge that he has devoted his best energies to the service of the good cause.

You are Magic!

Magic (ma-jic)
an extraordinary power or influence seemingly from a supernatural source

The attempt to define magic is difficult at best. It is used more as a word to describe, rather than one that can be defined. The same can be said for who you are. We attempt to define ourselves, yet no adequate words exist to describe the complexity of who we are. We can describe what we look like, the type of work we perform, our ethnic heritage or gender. Yet, that comes nowhere near the truth of what animates your being. You are a mystery. You are magic. 

Scientists have been searching for the origins and meaning of existence since the beginning of time as we know it. Various religions have been born out of an attempt to define the indefinable. We often engage in the endless pursuit to define who we are, where we came from and what is the purpose of our existence. We often times measure ourselves against others and their accomplishments. We are overwhelmed each day with media images of what is thought to be acceptable or unacceptable in the eyes of society. There is always an ongoing quest to explain the unexplainable.

Truth of the matter is, you are who you are and that is ever changing. You are amazing. Every morning when you open your eyes, you begin a new journey. The choices and decisions that you make color and change who you are. You are a unique, magical being. Have you forgotten this? Have you allowed the world to take away your magic and dull your sparkle? Each time you have a thought or task and give it life- you are creating! From preparing a meal for your family or doodling on paper during a meeting. Everything you do adds a different layer to who you are. Life is a complete mystery and by accepting this fact you become one with it and are able to maneuver though it. 

Think back and remember the last time you were really in tune with something you wanted to accomplish. Remember how easy and enjoyable it was to put together all the pieces of the puzzle to create the final outcome? You were not anxious or the least bit concerned about what other people were thinking or doing. You were one with the energy of your creation. That same dynamic is possible in all aspects of your life. By becoming one with the magical energy of who you are, you create. In the same token, you can also create your own limitations by putting up walls of fear and inadequacy.

So…embrace your power; consider what you create each and everyday and don’t sell yourself short. If you can put together the ingredients to make a cake, you can use the same recipe to create anything else you desire. Create a recipe that works for you. Be consistent with the energy of what you want to bring into your life. If you have made several attempts with no apparent success- try a different way. Add or remove something from the recipe. Be in tune with the Universal force of magic. 

Where is your energy at this moment? Are you focusing on life affirming activities or caught up with what someone else is doing or not doing? Is your energy directed on how to get someone else to change or do what you want him or her to do? What is the topic of most of your conversations? Think about the last conversation you had- were you sharing hopes, dreams and ideas or were you complaining about how things are not going the way you want them to? A large percentage of our words, thoughts and energy are given to what is going on around us. By understanding and knowing that you are a powerful, magical being- you regain the power that is wasted on things you cannot control. You cannot control another persons emotions or actions. If someone is in your life and they are causing you distress- it is because of your choice to allow them to remain part of your life. If you are not happy with the situation you are in, you have a choice to change it. You are not your past. You are not what someone did to you or what was taken from you. The events and people in your life have served to shape who you are at this very moment. The events of today, will further hone who you are tomorrow- and so on.

To become a truly empowered being, you have to reach deep down inside of yourself and utilize your own power. It is not important as to what your spiritual or theological beliefs are. What is important is that you understand the fact that you are a creator. What do you want to create? Peace, harmony and joy or chaos and drama? Are you always feeling angry and frustrated? Being angry or frustrated is only beneficial if it serves to steer you another direction. Conflict can sometimes be an incredible catalyst for change if you use the energy to move. Choose to take a different path or look at things from a different perspective. It does not matter how you do it, the important takeaway is that you get into a place that you want to be. 

You are who you are and that is perfect. Do not allow anything or anyone to diminish and cage your personal power. Allowing your inner self to grow and blossom is a process. Enjoy the journey!